And what you should say instead.
It’s the ultimate backhanded compliment — usually tossed at “older” people, mostly women.
It sounds like praise, but there’s an asterisk.
“You look good for your age.”
Seriously, what does that even mean?
Maybe when pressed, people would say, “You look good…” and then what? The person is left questioning, “What did you just say?”
Seriously — has anyone who says that really thought about it?
Are you trying to say:
You don’t look bad…for someone so old?
You only look good compared to other people your age?
Aging is terrible and it’s shocking that anyone can look good?
For an old hag, you’re holding up pretty well — keep trying?
It’s unlikely anyone would say those things out loud. But that’s the message hiding inside “You look good for your age.”
Here’s the truth:
We don’t need qualifiers.
We don’t need explanations.
We don’t need to be compared to a number.
If you really want to compliment someone, just say:
“You look great!”
“You have such a vibrant energy.”
“You’re glowing today!”
And if you’re on the receiving end of the dreaded phrase? Here are a few comebacks:
“I’m not sure how to take that.”
“What did you mean by that?”
(Or with a smile) “That’s not really a compliment.”
Not to be rude — but to gently call attention to it.
We are not invisible. We are not expired. And we’re certainly not here for backhanded flattery.
So please stop at “You look good” and drop the “for your age.”
Thank you. ♥️
We’re aging beautifully — no qualifiers needed.
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