Why silence isn’t awkward — it’s comfortable.

Dear Extrovert,

I understand that you may want to socialize all the time. You may want to go out in the evening and talk to strangers. Big groups are your thing, and you may even be thinking about the live event you’re hosting next week.

When you see me sitting alone on a couch at your favorite bar, you wonder if you should come over and keep me company. You want to do something kind and make me feel included. You know you’d hate to be sitting alone. Who does that?

An introvert.

Look, we introverts love you, we really do. Your energy, your enthusiasm, your “extraness” — it’s contagious!

But sometimes, we need a breather. It’s not personal. It’s just that our social batteries tend to last about as long as an iPhone’s.

So when you flop onto the couch and start asking questions, I’m happy to respond — in my own quiet way.

After we’ve chatted a bit, there’s a lull in the conversation. To me, it feels good. It shows that we are comfortable simply being in each other’s presence without needing to fill the space with chatter. Nice. Chill.

But for you, the silence feels awkward. You start fidgeting. Wondering if you should say something. Wondering if you did something wrong.

You didn’t.

No, I’m not shy. No, I don’t hate you. No, I don’t want you to leave.

I’m just an introvert.

I’ll come out of my shell again when my batteries recharge. Until then, let’s embrace the beauty of comfortable silence, shall we?

(And a glass of Moscato would be lovely, thank you.)

— An Introvert

Sharon Odom is the author of The Click: How I Lost 90 Pounds and Finally Found Fitness After 60 and the Self Care Workbook for Women. She shares real-life stories of growth, resilience, and finding joy at every stage of life. Learn more here.

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